What, haven't you been paying attention? Oh, all right then. I'm a confirmed bachelor residing in a well-appointed bungalow in an elegant suburb in Ohio. Hmm? Oh darling, a gentleman never reveals his age. Now off with you, it's time for afternoon cocktails. If you want to know the rest, you're just going to have to keep up.
Chat me up, dolls:
fag (at) faggotyassfaggot (dot) com
First time visiting the F-AF? Click here to get caught up.
It's fun when you return after a lengthy absence, and this is one of the first comments in response:
Wow -- I hate to be a jack ass, but I have checked your blog every day for nearly a month, and this is the best you have to offer? Where is the biting satire, the sharp political commentary -- hell, what happened with the wax-on-your-coat guy? I must confess, FAF, I do not blog myself so I know not the pressures and strain of writer's block but, babe, really -- this post was NOT what your legion of followers was waiting for... Sorry to be such an unappreciative bitch...
Oh no, wait -- it's not any fun at all.
Thankfully, others of you are more appreciative.
Still, I fear my reappearance makes a promise I cannot keep.
When I first launched this blog, it was a fun side project -- great for those years I was a student who needed a creative outlet. It was a blast to entertain, to spark discussions, to get on my high horse about politics, pop culture, queer issues and dating.
Oh, and American Idol. There was always plenty of American Idol.
Now, however, it's difficult.
Difficult because I have to work -- and I don't write about work. My social life consists of American Gladiators, and that has yet to reveal itself as a gold mine of material. And I have a huge new project brewing, but it's not yet at the state for a big reveal.
So I decided that unless I say something, I feel I've made a promise I can't keep.
Here goes:
I don't know when, or if, I'll write here again. There's just too much else to concentrate on, and most days I don't have any great ideas about what to post here. It's sad, but that's where I'm at.
Now about that other project: I hope to be ready to announce it soon, and I hope you'll follow me to that new destination. I can assure you I'll be doing plenty of writing there.
In the meantime -- thanks for tuning in, be well, and be sure to check back here in the next few weeks to find out the F-AF's next step.
Wow! I guess I never imagined my snarky comments would be enough to send F-AF into some sort of downward shame spiral. I was hoping to merely register (what I thought to be) a witty, if bitchy, post that might help "jumpstart" the old creative process for you again. Apparently, I have almost single-handedly brought down one of the most enjoyable blogs out there. If it's not too late, I would like to publicly apologize in this forum for offending you or hurting your feelings. I suppose, in a way, bloggers must expect some literary paparazzi to "wazz" them when they are exposed... That said, I do extend my "virtual hand" and hope you will accept my apology. Good luck on your new undertaking.
comment by Tim @ 11:15 PM on 01.21.08
Take a sabbatical and come back when you're good and ready. Blogging ain't easy, baby.
I'm totally ready to throw in the blogging towel for a spell and consider hibernation... except I just don't think I'm up for sleeping in a hollowed out tree, let alone not showering or brushing my teeth until spring... and yikes!... not to mention that whole hibernation weight gain horror!
Remember, dear, that any pressure to post on a daily basis comes only from within. If you don't feel like posting everyday, then post when you feel like it. If you don't have anything interesting to say, post when you do. Don't let the expectations of others dictate a creative outlet like blogging.
Does this mean no obligatory photo essay on our upcoming trip to the nudie bar?
comment by Stan @ 11:15 PM on 01.21.08
Everybody goes through seasons. I've left my blog for weeks at a time, and when I least expect it I'll get inspired by something unlikely. And even if FAF has posted for the last time (and I certainly hope that's not the case) it was excellent while it lasted. And, anyway, this dreary time of year sort of wears a guy down, don't you think?
I knew this was coming as soon as you picked "Benjamin" as your second name. And, I, for one, will be checking back for info on your next project. If that post never happens, then thank you for entertaining me up to this point and I sincerely wish the best for you in your future endeavors.
And Tim, don't feel too bad. At least your post prompted some long-time coming info out of our beloved blogger.
comment by Blame "It" on the Bosa Nova @ 11:15 PM on 01.21.08
As one of the laziest blog owners on the planet, I will never, ever complain if your material is not up to your normal high standards. I'm just always glad to check in and see that you're still around.
I don't care what the eff you care to write about, it's your blog and you can write what you want to, write what you want to, write what you want to.
OK, I am not the Tim that wrote the post you reference. I would be the lowercase tim. Wheter or not you continue, it was and always will be fun to read your stuff. I hope you stay.
Dearest FAF, whenever or wherever you write, I'll be there. Your blog is just that - YOURS. You write when you feel like it, whatever it is you feel the need to write about. We have been the lucky readers who have enjoyed your wit and humor (and the occassional heartfelt serious pieces).
Peace and good luck to you wherever you are headed.
Couldn't be easy to share all you have. Some of it
funny...some gut wrenching.
Whenever you reappear....there will be a legion of friends waiting.
Best,
Alex
comment by Alex @ 11:15 PM on 01.21.08
come back FA-F. you have left a whole in my, um, heart. come back. actually, you have left a hole in my threadbare hopes that there are literate and thoughtful people in this world. i have been counting on you too, too much. but you've always delivered. please don't stop writing. you're a gem. and, um, if you need some sort of personal favors to sweeten the deal, we can arrange something i'm sure.
I am bereft. Well, I've been bereft before, but not over a missing blogger. These are special circumstances. What would entire our erstwhile correpondent to return? Cookies? Milk? Giftware? All I want is a sign that it's not all over. Amd it's not the blog I'm missing, it's the elegantly talented person who writes it. Only way I know you is through this blog, so if you're giving it up (which is understandable) please zip a line that you're fine and doing okay and have big plans. And make it funny.
comment by Kevin @ 11:15 PM on 01.21.08
Sheesh... I finally stumble across an amusing, local blogger and he end up being overwhelmed by reality. Figures!
Seriously, though, you have many loyal viewers who will eagerly await any peep you may utter. We all have those days where we can't muster the energy or care to write in our blogs. Sometimes, a break is necessary. Sometimes, you return with a whole new mindset and eagerness to bitch, dish, and enlighten.
Best comment ever:
"Poca,
I still wait for you.
Yours,
Dream Giver."
Just died laughing. You were also important enough to start a comment war between two readers, which says a lot...
As someone who knows a teeny bit about your upcoming project a-brewin', I have to say that I completely understand your inability to keep up with blogging & am completely jazzed at the revealing of your big news. It's going to be incredible - can't wait.
Update when you can & best of luck with... you know. Miss you.
How sad that this once great blog has become little more than a dumping ground for "listik-28081." I guess I, like all your followers, keep checking back here, hoping and waiting to see news about that new project that you teased us with so long ago... Are the "LISTIK" postings part of that new project? Are these cryptic links like the little clues we get on "LOST?" Will it ever become clear to us? Just don't forget us, F-AF -- we are all still out here, waiting, your minions in cyber land...
comment by Tim @ 11:15 PM on 01.21.08
Just trying to break the shame spiral of spam comments. Hope to see you back and you front too.
Blogging is funny business. You're in the zone -- or you have a job that requires 0.4 percent of your brain function -- and you're churning out copy at a Stephen King pace. But then you miss a day, or a week, or a month, and boy it's hard to get back in the mood.
You know it's bad when your mother e-mails you, wondering just when the hell you're going to post something new.
My problem, I fear, is that after three years of blogging, I just can't write silly crap any more. Once upon a time, I posted a few paragraphs about building Ikea furniture and figured I was genius. I superimposed Twinkies over a close-up of my red eye and waited for the Pulitzer. I wrote about mismatched socks, which I think makes me Dave Berry.
But when you've been off the horse for more than a month, you just have to get back on that stallion.
And just like my last hiatus, American Idol brings me back to you.
Now, I watched this episode, and I remember this contestant. If you're looking merely at these stills, well, I think the earrings are there in all three pictures. Her left earring is just turned such that it is perpendicular to the camera and it's thin enough that you can't see it in the still, but if you look at her earlobe it appears that there is an earring there.
Or is that not at all what you're looking at?
comment by Cindy @ 06:03 PM on 01.16.08
Wow -- I hate to be a jack ass, but I have checked your blog every day for nearly a month, and this is the best you have to offer? Where is the biting satire, the sharp political commentary -- hell, what happened with the wax-on-your-coat guy? I must confess, FAF, I do not blog myself so I know not the pressures and strain of writer's block but, babe, really -- this post was NOT what your legion of followers was waiting for... Sorry to be such an unappreciative bitch...
comment by Tim @ 06:03 PM on 01.16.08
We can only imagine what you did and we know who you are.
And after leaving us on meat hooks for almost a month -- which, by the way, covered two official holidays without so much was a Happy Holidays or a Merry New Year from you -- we want photos of your Brazilian wax job!
XOXOXOX
The Somnabulists
We're the queens in your closet
The self you disown
And we're out there alone to betray you.
You don't know where we're walking
You can't stop us from talking
And everybody's watching
comment by The Somnabulists @ 06:03 PM on 01.16.08
At least your mama cares . . .
The best I ever got after not writing home for a while was a typed memo from my father stating
"...ever since you left home your mother has noticed that a pound of butter lasts the whole family for a week!"
Fortunately he didn't mention my toilet paper consumption.
ANYWAY, WELCOME BACK. YOU WERE MISSED !
comment by GreenBananas @ 06:03 PM on 01.16.08
I know I've dished out some stern sentiments in the past, but that was serious stuff, not your blogging. Evidently hating to be a jack-ass and failing to be one are entirely unrelated.
The Idol problem is a simple one though. Very dense, massive objects are known to bend light around themselves, causing an observable distortion. The earrings are jst acting as gravity lenses.
Well, here is one bitter, bitchy, and sarcastic elitist happy to have you back. You are seriously only one of 4 blogs that I read, so please don't spend so much time away next time. Ciao!
The table was a sort-of black lacquer, with a 6-inch-tall glass pillar candle -- the kind that looks best with an image of Jesus mass-printed on the side.
I sat down -- he was already there -- and we began the usual first-date conversation flirtations.
After a half-hour or more, I noticed I had just bumped the candle with my elbow.
"Oops," I thought to myself. "Better move that back to the center of the table. You don't want to make one of your wild gestures and send a candle flying.
We kept chatting, laughing, eating. It was a good time. More time passed.
Suddenly, I noticed the candle brushing my hand.
"Didn't you move that to the center of the table?" I asked myself. "Odd."
I pushed it back to the center.
We finished eating. Dessert. More stories. More flirting.
A thump.
Darkness.
We both looked around the table, then at each other.
"I knew it!" I cried out, leaping up. "That candle was moving!"
And there it was, rolling back and forth on the floor, having slowly, imperceptibly slid across the table over the course of a two-hour date.
I patted down my arm, my pants. No wax.
Shrugging, I sat back down. We finished our date in darkness.
A walk to the car, a kiss.
As I drove away, I glanced down.
And discovered the front of my coat was covered in wax.
Yeah! I'm happy you had what sounds like a fun and interesting date.
comment by Erik @ 03:22 PM on 12.17.07
The date does sound nice, but are some details missing? I mean, did YOU put your coat in the freezer? That wasn't the impression I got from your previous post... There seems to be a break in the timeline of events. Too many cocktails for a clear memory? Did someone ELSE put your coat in the freezer (but why, then, did you walk to your car?) C'mon, FAF -- more clear and concise details please. I know a "lady never kisses-n-tells" but those of us that are date-starved live vicariously through your adventures (and misadventures as well!) LOL!
comment by Tim @ 03:22 PM on 12.17.07
And another thing, who is Martha and what role did she play in this fish net and hot wax dinner date? You said she would approve. Why is her approval so important to the plot of this tale? Was she a dominatrix brought in to entertain between courses? What kind of jacket were you wearing at this dinner -- a black leather restraining jacket? I mean, unless you're in a restaurant, who wears a jacket to dinner if they're not dining with the Rockerfella's.
I agree with Tim, there's a lot of gaping holes in this story, plus I think that FAF has left out some details. I hate to make this into a big conspiracy, but was there a second shooter hiding in the shadows?
comment by Prisoner of Cell Block Q @ 03:22 PM on 12.17.07
Well.... the good news is that you had a date that he will remember. In a good way, I think.
My most memorable date ended with the paramedics because the date was passed out in a diabetic coma on my floor.
Merry Christmas Fagilicious!! Hope you have that wax out of your one good, decent dinner jacket and melted onto your date's nipples where it truly belongs in time to have a Happy New Year!!!!
comment by The Ghost of Christmas Presents @ 03:22 PM on 12.17.07
If you need any other help getting the wax off thing right, let me know, I am experienced.
How sad FA-F has gone missing... It's definitely disappointing to check daily for new postings when none appear. Sigh -- I guess that date must have worked out after all, that FA-F has fallen head-over-heels (or should that be heels-over-head?) in love and forgotten all about those of us who enjoy this blog. Oh well, so long and good luck...
comment by Tim @ 03:22 PM on 12.17.07
are u in New Hampshire campaigning for Hillary?
comment by MemphisJohn @ 03:22 PM on 12.17.07
I bet his date was the insane display director at some fabulous department store. After they finished dinner, the date encased Fagilicious in wax and has him posed in some wonderful Burton-esque holiday display window in beautiful downtown Cleveland. Scream, (pause) and then scream again!!
comment by The Ghost of Vincent Price @ 03:22 PM on 12.17.07
When last seen, FAF was last seen screaming "iron my shirt" at Hillary Clinton. It seems, our beloved blogger got wax on more than his jacket and couldn't get his iron to work.
comment by Martha @ 03:22 PM on 12.17.07
Where the heck are you FAF? I hope you didn't have another medical issue! I'm concerned and hope you let us know that you're okay!
Honey, I'm telling ya' the FAF has been dipped in hot wax and is presently passing his time modeling one of Cheryl Tieg's latest numbers in the front window of Angels Wings of Fashion boutique on 25th Street in beautiful downtown Cleveland.
comment by The Mad Display Director @ 03:22 PM on 12.17.07
As much as I enjoy the idea of a gay Evening Primrose being reality in downtown Clevelend. The F.A.F. has been spotted over at cowsinthebarn.com for an extended weekend at Casa de MAK. Maybe he decided to show off wax boy, and we can expect many tales of debauchery from NYC.
comment by Bill @ 03:22 PM on 12.17.07
Now that, my friend, is a story worth telling. And that should make it all worth it. ;)
Followed the link to your blog. Thanks, I'm always looking for a new, interesting read. Great tattoo, BTW.
comment by But the Barn Door Stays Open @ 03:22 PM on 12.17.07
I'm skeptical on the report from NYC by Bill. He showed up pics of his tattoos (very nice, btw) but no pics of FAF. I could easily say that FAF is bringing Kripsy Kremes to me in Memphis. I think we need evidence - nay, proof! - that FAF is/was in NYC.
comment by MemphisJohn @ 03:22 PM on 12.17.07
I'm not the author of Cows in the Barn, just a regular reader.
The FAF and MAK have mentioned one another in past blog posts, in fact the FAF is a regualr commenter on Cows in the Barn.
I was only trying to report an FAF sighting, perhaps it's like Elvis sightings and we'll never know for sure.
comment by Bill @ 03:22 PM on 12.17.07
Love the Elvis response, Bill!
You know, with FAF not posting and only his readers posting, this is like the inmates taking over the prison.
comment by MemphisJohn @ 03:22 PM on 12.17.07
Screwed up that link. Try this for the FAF report.
You have to wonder just what the hell went on when you wake up the morning after a very nice date with a handsome man, stumble into the kitchen to find something to eat, and discover ...
In a romantic yet impractical gesture, your handsome date gave you a handmade snowball which you felt obligated to tell him you'd keep forever, but got frozen to the inside of your pocket on the walk home?
Martha's no prude. She's done hard time. Besides her daughter hosts a show on Sirius and she talks about blow jobs all the time. Or wait...I get it. She'd be offended by Bush. Now it all makes sense.
Somewhere tonight there is a Saturday Night Live cast member -- one Ms. Maya Rudolph -- making a frowny face.
She's :-( because the Hollywood writers' strike just robbed her of her skit of the year: five minutes of Oprah's My Favorite Things, with Ms. O proclaiming as only she can, "Here's my favorite person to change America: Barack Obamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! And there's one for you. And there's one for you. And there's one for you. There's one for everyone!"
And then 300 suburban ladies in sharp sweater sets lose their effing cool and someone literally dies of an aneurysm.
It is, apparently, a Big Deal that the world's most powerful woman has publicly endorsed a candidate for the first time.
Having seen celebrity stumpers in action before, I'm not so sure.
In 2004, I spent a day with a friend carting the actors who played Ted and Melanie from Queer as Folk around town for the HRC's election efforts. Of course, I would have to actually visit IMDB.com to look up their non-character names, so I suppose they don't really count.
A couple of weeks later, I found myself on a gay-bar stage with Chad Lowe, Hilary Swank and a whole mess of very petite people who are probably so pampered they don't know how to order pizza anymore. Julianna Margulies liked my anti-W T-shirt. She asked if she could have it, but she had left ER and was doing cable. So I turned her down.
They wanted us to vote Democrat. We did.
We lost.
Celebrity endorsements aren't all they're cracked up to be.
Of course, Oprah Winfrey is a whole other beast. She picks a book and the publisher needs advanced warning to get enough copies printed. She gets together groups of incomprehensibly wealthy women, gives them millions of dollars in jewelry as gifts, and her audience is fascinated rather than outraged.
Hell, she somehow made Dr. Phil acceptable.
The other candidates should probably be worried.
But since she's not supporting my gal, I believe the appropriate level of bitterness requires me to remind any Oprah fans who are swayed to support Obama because of her endorsement of these following facts:
1. She used to date Roger Ebert.
2. She believes in The Secret.
3. And while she is now worth far more than $1 billion, her original training is as a TV journalist.
And we all know the average intelligence of one of those:
That girl was pretty damn bad ... where would I apply to replace her. I love when she squinted to read the cue card. As for Oprah, I guess she is finally showing that she is human. What happens if Obama doesn't win and then Oprah is shown to be fallible? Will people be beating their chest in the streets?
I thought surely that was an audition tape (and a failed one!), but then, why would Holly Hunter agree to do that? And who styled that girl's hair?
comment by Cindy @ 02:23 AM on 12.10.07
Faf ---Im suprised your not an Obama supporter. Educated professional woman are distrustful of Hillery
comment by busters mom @ 02:23 AM on 12.10.07
OMG, like, I could've totally done that newschick's job when I was, like, twelve! And I would've tap-danced for the nice people, too! (Crap, she asked HH the same questions four times, and she still couldn't get the show's premiere date right.)
Ya know, I love Oprah. I love her skin care tips, her "how to look 10 Years Younger" episodes, ect ect. That said, darling Oprah is NOT, I repeat NOT going to tell me how to vote. My Mom watched Oprah for years and years, but she voted exactly the way my Dad told her to. Oprah has every soccer Moms ears, but darling, their husband have the soccer Mom's ballots. I have no husband, and this lesbian is voting for Hillary....
PS - Michelle Clunie played Melanie and Scott Lowell played Ted (yes, I googled it) :-)
PPS: Lovin the faggoty ass faggot
comment by Malory @ 02:23 AM on 12.10.07
Is it just me, or does Oprah's "celebrity" endorsement of Barack Obama make me want to vote for him even less? Perhaps it is a bit of jealousy on my part but frankly I am sick and tired of Oprah's Messiah-like power/attitude; I swear, she could tell a mall full of women to set themselves on fire and they would... My issues with Ms. Winfrey aside, (and fearful that I might be accused of being racist), is Barack the BEST candidate, or is Barack the only African-American candidate -- is that really at the core of Oprah's fervent and passsionate endorsement of Mr. Obama? Don't get me wrong -- if an openly gay/lesbian candidate were running for President (and I agreed with his/her policies and political positions), I would undoubtedly channel my support and efforts into getting him/her elected. However, I believe the "elephant in the room" with Barack is blacks are rallying around him in part because he is "one of them." Dare I even mention how well that strategy worked with the election of Cleveland's current mayor? I'm just saying...
comment by Tim @ 02:23 AM on 12.10.07
note to busters mom:
FAF is not, and never will be, an "Educated professional woman."
I love that line in the movie 'Adam & Steve' where the female character played by Parker Posey says "Watching Oprah has made it impossible for me to have a relationship with anyone else besides Oprah".
Personally, celebrity endorsements of anything have no effect on me. The fact that Lindsay Wagner likes the Sleep Number bed means shit to me.
Mark -- I hear you on the Sleep Number Bed. Plus, she looks so incredibly exhausted in those commercials that I can't possibly give any credibility to her statements that she's getting the best sleep she's ever gotten!
comment by Cindy @ 02:23 AM on 12.10.07
I wish you had looked at the Bush video that comes up at the end (along the bottom) he sounds even stupider than the girl in the video.
It ain't easy being a single guy on the dating, er, job-hunting scene.
I'm employed, thankfully, but with no guarantees past February. And even though I've been assured numerous times how valuable I am, I have the growing feeling there just won't be any money when the end of my contract arrives.
So I'm on the prowl -- not for some useless man, but for gainful employment.
And after more than two months of ad-scouring, resume-sending and interview-going, I realize the two emotional roller coasters are one and the same.
The sense of depression/dread/futility/giving up is very familiar:
Why hasn't he/they noticed my profile/resume posted on Facebook/JournalismJobs.com?
Why didn't he/they call after I gave my number/mailed in my resume? I'm perfect for him/the job!
Why hasn't/haven't he/they called after our first date/interview? Oh my God, what did I say that soured him/them on me for a relationship/job?
Well, screw him/them. I didn't want to date him/work for them anyway.
I'm going to be single/unemployed forever.
I'm going to die alone/end up on the street.
It doesn't take a therapist to diagnose that it all comes down to one thing for me: fear of rejection. I need a man to want me. I need an employer to want me.
And right now, I feel very unwanted.
So if you're a company in Northeast Ohio looking for a journalist/writer/editor/marketer/communications specialist, send me an e-mail!
Sorry to hear about your job woes. As someone working for the same employer since college (aren't universities great for that), I can't relate - however, as someone on the dating scene , your story hits home. Of course, like you know being single doesn't interfere with basic human needs ... food and shelter. Good luck ... with your writing style, I am sure that you will land an even better job.
Mayhap you should leave Northeast Ohio. It's got a shitty economy, after all.
comment by JD @ 02:57 PM on 12.01.07
You belong in a bigger market. NEO's creative market blows - get out before you get discouraged.
comment by MP @ 02:57 PM on 12.01.07
Hahah nice. I'm like in the same situation, but I like girls. I'm totally cool with guys that like guys though, except the ones that try to rape me. I was raped many times in college after I smoked weed. Good luck with your job hunt and a boyfriend. Although I don't side with your views on non-caucasions, you do have some good points.
Wow! I guess I never imagined my snarky comments would be enough to send F-AF into some sort of downward shame spiral. I was hoping to merely register (what I thought to be) a witty, if bitchy, post that might help "jumpstart" the old creative process for you again. Apparently, I have almost single-handedly brought down one of the most enjoyable blogs out there. If it's not too late, I would like to publicly apologize in this forum for offending you or hurting your feelings. I suppose, in a way, bloggers must expect some literary paparazzi to "wazz" them when they are exposed... That said, I do extend my "virtual hand" and hope you will accept my apology. Good luck on your new undertaking.